Archive for January 5, 2019
Hollywoo, a town filled with magic, splendor, and some of the most colorful personalities you’re likely to find anywhere. From Hollywoo hotshot and all-around good boy (Yes he is! Yes he is!), Mr. Peanutbutter to the alcoholic, depressive, and pudgy Bojack Horseman, it takes all types to make Hollywoo the vibrant and thriving place that we all know and love. So let’s get into it! Hollywoo Celebrities (and some other, less important, people like relatives and the police officer that solved the mystery of the missing Hollywoo “D”): What are their personality types? Do they have them? Let’s find out!
10. Kelsey Jannings: The Architect - INTJ
Famed director Kelsey Jannings kicks off our list of Hollywoo’s hottest celebrity personality types. When she’s not behind the camera painstakingly obsessing over every move made on big studio films like Secretariat she can be found taking care of everything from independent dramas like Women Love Women Who Love Recycling to her teenage daughter Irving. Kelsey is an industrious, strong, and analytical woman constantly pushing the boundaries of what film can encompass. Kelsey is actually quite similar to her former leading horse, Bojack Horseman, in that she is constantly over-analyzing and can find it rather difficult to just relax and take a break from things like the illustrious Pacific Ocean Film Festival.
9. Mr. Peanutbutter: The Entertainer - ESFP
Hollywoo “It” man and host of Hollywoo Celebrities: What Do They Know? Do They Know Things? Let’s Find Out!, Mr. Peanutbutter seems to rarely be preoccupied with anything other than chasing a good time, mailmen, and avoiding the deeper feelings that may lead to any sort of recognition of his toxic patterns. You’d be hard pressed to find a person in Hollywoo that Mr. Peanutbutter has not met or befriended though. Mr. Peanutbutter needs the spotlight, the people around him, and the occasional mailman to distract him from falling into the same trappings that Hollywoo horse hack, Bojack Horseman, has been spiraling down for years.
8. Sarah Lynn: The Entrepreneur - ESTP
Sarah Lynn, may she rest in peace, really knew how to keep the people happy when she was alive and kicking. She was bold and unencumbered by things like laws, codes of conduct, or even the Geneva convention if it had ever come down to it. Sarah was a risk taker and she was willing to fight to carve out her piece of the fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free, vegan, Hollywoo pie. While she managed to live to the ripe old age of 31, Sarah had so much more to give. She adored the spotlight almost as much as it adores Sextina Aquafina. Sometimes it really is just too much, man.
7. Officer Meow Meow Fuzzyface: The Performer - ESFP
Officer Meow Meow Fuzzyface, renegade cop, loose cannon, result-getter, and one heck of a damn fine police officer. Officer Meow Meow Fuzzyface plays by his own rules. A bold showman -- even while investigating a potential Whalecide involving Hollywoo bad boy and resident horse that argues with strangers for fun, Bojack Horseman. Meow Meow does, however, have a softer, more conflict-averse side, as witnesses report him letting Hollywoo ‘It’ dog Mr. Peanutbutter go with just a warning after he chased down a federal employee delivering packages in his car multiple times. ESFPs like Officer Fuzzyface are practical, observant, and just a delight to be around. We thank you for your service Officer Fuzzyface. Good kitty.
6. Hollyhock Manheim-Mannheim-Guerrero-Robinson-Zilberschlag-Hsung-Fonzerelli-McQuack: The Adventurer - ISFP
Hollyhock, Bojack Horseman’s half-sister - formerly thought to be his daughter, is an adventurous soul. She’s eager to reestablish connections with her estranged family and confront her past head on so that she can continue to grow knowing both who raised her and where she came from. Hollyhock is also charming and sensitive in a way that only someone astonishingly genuine can be. While her older brother Bojack is entirely ignorant to those around him, Hollyhock is careful and kind, always taking careful consideration to make those around her comfortable. ISFPs like Hollyhock can be easily overwhelmed and may even seem a little turbulent at times but their relentless independence and creativity tend to steer them away from any real problems.
5. Todd Chavez: The Campaigner - ENFP
Todd Chavez, the former CEO of whattimeisitnow.com, didn’t really seem like he was up to the challenge of running an entire company. While he is truly skilled and wise beyond his years, Todd needs to be free to create, dance, and live in these bustling streets of Hollywoo. Todd is great at getting people in his corner when it comes to things like the most epic space rock opera that’s ever been sung or any of his other hair-brained schemes. Make no mistake though, Todd is the idea man. He lacks the focus and drive to adequately follow through with any of his brilliant projects. But if he could find the focus and drive to follow through, oh what a wonderful world it would be.
4. Princess Carolyn: The Commander - ENTJ
Anyone that knows Princess Carolyn, one of Hollywoo’s star agents, will tell you that she will put her client, and therefore business, first. It isn’t easy leaving your family behind in Eden, North Carolina to come out to Hollywoo and pursue your dreams making 10% off of other people pursuing their dreams, but Princess Carolyn manages to make it look easy, regal even. Princess Carolyn can schmooze with the best of them and while she can be a little catty when certain horse-faced, alcoholic, co-dependent, jerks-that-peaked-in-the-80s constantly bring nothing but trouble and anguish her way, Princess Carolyn always manages to find feet to stand on. She’s a natural leader, so it’s no wonder she’s made a career out of telling other (more talented) people what to do.
3. J.D. Salinger: The Advocate - INFJ
From the revolutionary novel at least partially responsible for the murder of two people and at least one assassination attempt, Catcher In The Rye, to the beautiful and heartbreaking stories of the Glass family, and now to his new hit series Hollywoo Stars & Celebrities: What Do They Know? Do They Know Things? Let’s Find Out! J.D. Salinger has gone from Weekend At Bearney’s to Man about Hollywoo. Salinger shows an intense and undying (pun intended) dedication to his craft. J.D. appears endlessly, creative and maybe even a little too convincing if the ghost of John Lennon has anything to say about it.
2. Diane Nguyen: The Logician - INTP
The second, and least famous writer on our list by far, is Diane Nguyen (a total Zoe). You may know her from her work on “One Trick Pony” or more notably her work on GirlCroosh. Diane is intelligent, perceptive, high-minded, and desperate to make an impact on the world around her. What Diane really wants is to be the person that’s at the frontlines of the fight, leading the charge in the fight for what’s right. Her one key weakness comes from the fact that she is constantly second-guessing herself. This one characteristic keeps her from reaching that ultimate, self-actualized Diane that she’s been striving for since before she popped up on our radars.
1. Bojack Horseman: The Debater - ENTP
What is there to say about Bojack Horseman that hasn’t already been said of any drunken transient that lucked his way into a lottery winning ticket? Bojack is a deeply, deeply, damaged individual that can’t be left alone. If you’re looking for him, he can often be found arguing with complete strangers over things that mean very little to nothing to him at all. If it isn’t his recent nationally televised verbal brawl with war hero Neal McBeal the Navy SEAL, it’s his rampant alcoholism blazing its trail throughout all of Hollywoo. But what can we say? Hollywoo loves a bad boy. You can find Bojack on whattimeisitnow.com’s Philbert or most notably J.D. Salinger’s hit series Hollywoo Stars & Celebrities: What Do They Know? Do They Know Things? Let's Find Out!
After the DC Extended Universe got off to a divisive start with Man of Steel and Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice polarizing both critics and fans, DC's biggest heroes have been in a state of uncertainty, and a Batman and Superman team-up might be the thing to stabilize it again. In an effort to course correct for the complaints about Batman v Superman's tone, Suicide Squad saw massive reshoots, ultimately making the movie a mess, with Justice League taking even more drastic actions, removing Zack Snyder as director, cutting continuity to his past films, and permanently altering the future trajectory of the DCEU.
In the time since Justice League, the future slate of movies has been significantly altered, with release dates being pushed and new characters rumored to get their own movies, but news on Batman and Superman's next outing has been scarce, with even Matt Reeves' slow gestating Batman solo film reportedly telling a story about a younger Batman instead of continuing Ben Affleck's arc.
Couple this with repeated news that there are currently no plans for Ben Affleck or Henry Cavill to suit up as Batman or Superman again, and the future of the characters is in doubt.
- This Page: The DCEU Doesn't Know What to Do With Batman and Superman
- Page 2: How a Batman and Superman Team-Up Could Solve the DCEU's Problems
The DCEU Doesn't Know What to Do With Batman and Superman
After years of failed attempts to get a Superman story off the ground, Bryan Singer's Superman Returns was a major letdown for many fans as it attempted to serve as a spiritual sequel to the Christopher Reeve Superman movies, leading to a full reboot of the character with Zack Snyder's more serious take on the character in Man of Steel. Of course, this version wasn't as well received either, and Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice failed to turn many detractors around on the character before Justice League tried to "course correct" with a cringey smiling and jokey version of the character with awkward CGI mustache removal, also failing to ignite excitement over the character's future.
Batman, on the other hand, was coming off a massively successful trilogy from Christopher Nolan, and Ben Affleck's casting was met with mass hysteria before his more violent, fallen Batman was also rejected by many in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, despite his redemption and turn at the end. Justice League reshoots also turned his character into a smiling, quipping verson of the character as Ben Affleck abandoned his writing and directing duties from the Batman solo movie, leaving his future in doubt as well.
There's clearly baggage with both characters and actors, but paired with Gal Gadot's Wonder Woman and Jason Momoa's Aquaman, both of whom saw massive success in their own solo movies, simply recasting the actors is a difficult proposition after they've already appeared on screen together.
Batman v Superman is Too Big to Ignore
The biggest problem is that Warner Bros. can't simply ignore or retcon Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. The movie made $870 million worldwide, drew endless headlines, has a strong fan following, and introduced every single current Justice League member, including Momoa and Gadot.
The MCU didn't have much difficulty recasting Rhodey or Bruce Banner because Terrence Howard only appeared in one Iron Man movie before Don Cheadle took over in Iron Man 2, where the character became more prominent, becoming War Machine, and Edward Norton's Incredible Hulk was barely even seen, only grossing $260 million worldwide.
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice introduced Batman to the DCEU, brought him through an intense character arc where he ultimately confronts Superman, and has Superman sacrifice himself at the end. One of Justice League's biggest faults was trying to pretend, as much as it could, that Batman v Superman never happened. Outside of the obvious plot points that needed to be resolved, like Superman's death, nearly everything else that would have tied it back to Batman v Superman was cut, removing much of the build-up and making Justice League ultimately feel like a smaller movie than it's predecessor.
In order to truly leave Batman v Superman in the past, the DCEU will need to resolve it, first. That means rounding off the major events and bringing closure to Batman and Superman's arcs, making them into the versions of the characters their trajectory was leading them towards - the versions its detractors have been begging for all along.
A Batman and Superman Team Up Is The Next Best Step
Since Warner Bros. isn't going to finish Zack Snyder's 5-part story, they need to develop a new story to wrap up the loose threads and character arcs from Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice and the best way to do that is to bring the characters together to share the screen once more, but as allies this time.
One of the biggest things Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice's detractors wanted from the film was for it to be a proper Batman and Superman team-up, not a movie where they fight. While the darker encounter for the two characters made the most sense for their initial interaction, the stage is now set for them to come together in a movie that gives detractors what they wanted, while also naturally continuing their already established stories.
We saw Batman and Superman getting along well enough in Justice League (after Kal-El regained his wits), but a story to let the pair truly shine (possibly teaming up against Jesse Eisenber's Lex Luthor and Jared Leto's Joker as in the much loved Superman/Batman: Public Enemies comic and animated adaptation) wouldn't only be the logical next step for the characters, but it would also better set up their future solo movies. Without having to dance around the elephant in the room by pretending Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice didn't happen, each character is freed from many of the complications hindering a proper sequel.
How Batman And Superman Can Solve the DCEU's Problems
A Superman and Batman team-up movie wouldn't only resolve lingering story and character issues in a more natural way, but it's the perfect way to bring Henry Cavill and Ben Affleck back to their roles. Part of the standstill in Batman or Superman movies happening after Justice League in the fact there's no clear direction for either character. That, in turn, only makes getting Affleck or Cavill to suit back up again, especially with lack of confidence in their box office prospects.
Aquaman proves this franchise can still strike box-office gold, though, and Cavill and Affleck are both widely praised in their respective roles, the complaints levied at them have been more related to the stories they've been in - a problem that could be resolved with the team-up. Batman and Superman working together would obviously be a might lighter story than Batman v Superman, and it would be a natural way to usher in that tone and build the relationship between the two characters, as opposed to some more drastic course correction or retcon.
Given, it's not so easy as simply greenlighting a Batman and Superman team-up. Henry Cavill's contract is still a sticking point, and Ben Affleck has seemingly soured on the franchise's creative direction, so there's still some work to do to make it work. But for fans hoping for Cavill and Affleck to suit up again and those looking for closure to Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, along with opening the prospect of more Batman and Superman films in this continuity, the World's Finest could be the hope they need.
Doctor Who’s New Year special “Resolution” may have thrilled audiences with the return of the Doctor’s arch-enemies, but “Dalek” still stands as the best Dalek-centric episode of the modern era.
The dreaded Daleks are as integral to Doctor Who – and as iconic – as the TARDIS and the sonic screwdriver. It’s a testament to the show’s writing and innovative flair that a relatively low-budget creation like the Daleks could instil such fear in its audience. Thanks to the efforts of show-runner Russell T. Davies, director Joe Ahearne and writer Robert Shearman, the potential of this alien cyborg race was realised once again in the Ninth Doctor's (Christopher Eccleston) debut season in 2005.
“Dalek” sees the Doctor and Rose Tyler (Billie Piper) arriving in an underground bunker in Utah, in the year 2012. The facility is owned by odious billionaire Henry van Statten (Corey Johnson), who has filled it with alien artefacts, including one mysterious living specimen. The Doctor is horrified when he soon discovers the creature’s identity, and he is all but powerless to stop it when it breaks free. Admittedly, this episode would undoubtedly have had more of an impact if the Dalek had been a closely guarded reveal (and not given away by the title). Nonetheless, the Doctor’s greatest foes are shrewdly handled in “Dalek”, and they have rarely been as compelling as they are here.
When Doctor Who was rebooted, it marked forty years since the Daleks' television debut – and over fifteen since their last appearance. Because of this time difference, bringing the Daleks back was a tricky prospect. After all, their pepper pot shape and sink-plunger appendages had been ridiculed in the past. Moreover, even though "Remembrance of the Daleks" had established that they could climb staircases, general audiences still believed that these quaint and uncomplicated antagonists could be foiled by multilevel buildings. Aherne and Shearman seem aware of these preconceptions, and do everything they can to address them throughout the episode.
One of the main reasons why “Dalek” works so well is because it recontextualizes these aliens in a minimalist, claustrophobic setting and plot. Long-time fans may have been upset that many aspects of this species – such as their various classes and their creator, Davros – are only alluded to in the episode. But by honing in on one Dalek and its merciless, totalitarian nature, “Dalek” conveys the full extent of their terrifying capabilities. Indeed, as more and more groups of human soldiers are swiftly exterminated by a singular Dalek, we get a feel of just how dangerous this creature is. The sight of an airborne, CGI Dalek pursuing Rose and newcomer Adam (Bruno Langley) up a stairwell proved to be a similarly heart-stopping moment for new and casual fans. Therefore, when “Bad Wolf” and “The Parting of the Ways” introduce hordes of these beings, the audience experiences an increased sense of dread.
This foreboding is also helped by Russell T. Davies’ resetting of the show’s status quo. When Doctor Who returned, the rebooted series picked up after the Time War between the Daleks and the Time Lords. Referred to in hallowed, mournful tones, the Time War compounded the hero’s mysterious aura, and that of the Daleks as well. When the Doctor discusses the brutality and horror of the war with the titular Dalek, these villains are granted the same weight – and history – as their mortal foe.
Indeed, "Dalek" scrutinizes the dynamics between the Doctor and his long-time opponents in a fresh and interesting way. As the Dalek is exposed to new ideas and sensations, the audience witnesses the Doctor become riddled with anger. It's fascinating to watch the characters essentially start switching places, and the talented cast sink their teeth into this rich material. Billie Piper excels as the episode's moral center. But fans will rightly remember "Dalek" for Christopher Eccleston’s brilliant performance, especially in his confrontations with the Dalek itself.
In their first meeting, Eccleston portrays the regret, the fear, and most importantly the fury of the Time Lord so well that it's no wonder the Dalek recoils at the Doctor’s rage. This exchange, coupled with the alien's later observation that the Doctor would make a good Dalek himself, is one of the most impactful sequences in the refreshed series. Certainly, it’s the kind of raw intensity that is rarely seen within the show. For that very reason, the Ninth Doctor's first conversation with the Dalek still stands as one of Doctor Who’s best ever scenes.
Moreover, the influence of “Dalek” can be felt to this day. The episode established the Daleks’ standing within the rebooted show along with their revamped look, which became so popular that fans balked when showrunner Steven Moffat attempted to give them a makeover in 2010. But Moffat also attempted to combat the fatigue that had settled upon these villains by the time of his tenure. 2012 saw "Asylum of the Daleks" foreground their formidable nature once again, with sinister Dalek sleeper agents and a similarly confined setting. Indeed, even "Resolution" mimics the minimal use of a redesigned reconnaissance Dalek.
As brilliant as these adventures are though, they seem unable to match the simplicity – or the poignancy – of “Dalek”. Many amazing moments – such as the Cult of Skaro’s hilarious first meeting with the Cybermen – wouldn't have been possible without the groundwork of this 2005 episode. In turn, “Dalek” may not climb to the lofty heights of many classic era instalments, yet it still nimbly interrogates the nature of mercy and vengeance – right and wrong – that Doctor Who has always explored. It’s a meaty and powerful examination of the Doctor’s greatest rivalry. Plus, its chilling depiction of Dalek principles and warfare showcase why the Daleks have become the kind of iconic villains that will endure for generations to come.
Ask your average Star Trek fan what their favorite series is, and they’re likely to bring up the legendary Original Series, or the Picard-led Next Generation. That said, there’s a huge chunk of the fanbase that’s happy to declare Deep Space Nine as not only their favorite, but also as the best out of every series that Star Trek has given us.
Predominantly taking place on a single space station, the show has something of a Wild West-vibe. We get to know an eclectic group of individuals for the main cast, some of which are Federation personnel, while others are simply folks who live on the station, like the wonderful Quark and Odo (whose bickering relationship is a joy to behold.) Everything starts off relatively basic with episodic plots, but once the series gets in gear a few seasons in, it takes a huge turn into all-out war across the Alpha Quadrant against the Gamma Quadrant-based Dominion.
This is the point where fans really latched on to the series and its unique strengths, particularly as the story transitioned form episodic to serialized, and especially as the overall tone grew increasingly bleak and dark, which was a massive departure from everything we’ve seen before in the franchise. Despite all of these strengths, though, Deep Space Nine has a collection of awful storylines that some of the writers have even admitted that they were embarrassed to have written.
It's time to delve into the worst of the worst, so brace yourself for red alert because here are the 20 Storylines Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Wants Us To Forget.
20 The Entirety of "Profit And Lace" (S6, E23)
Star Trek, as a whole, is known for its progressive views and deft handling of social issues that plague the society of the 21st century rather than their own. For a show with a track record as successful as Trek’s when it comes to dealing with such topics, it’s no wonder that the events of “Profit and Lace” were quickly swept under the rug with the hopes that people would forget.
In short, this is the one where Quark dresses up as a woman, and it’s also the one loaded with never-ending sexism. Deep Space Nine handles touchy subjects well, but they really fumbled with this one, making it a blight on an otherwise impressive record.
19 Q's One And Only Appearance ("Q-Less" S1, E7)
Q was one of The Next Generation’s greatest additions. This god-like being was capable of just about anything, and enjoyed toying with the Enterprise crew, especially Picard. In fact, he was so beloved and critical that he was the driving force of the superb series finale, which might be the best episode of the entire franchise.
Unfortunately, Q and all his mariachi band antics were added to Deep Space Nine, which, just by reading that sentence, you can tell was a mistake. He appeared only once, and rightfully so. Q just didn’t belong in DS9’s realm, and this awful episode proves it. One positive moment is Sisko punching him in the face, though, so we’ve gotta give credit where credit is due.
18 That Time Molly Turned Feral ("Time's Orphan" S6, E24)
Miles O’Brien is one of the more beloved side-characters from The Next Generation era, but the same can’t be said about his wife and daughter, Keiko and Molly. While neither character is particularly offensive, they were often saddled with weird and boring plots that didn’t endear them to the audience.
In the case of Molly, specifically, “Time’s Orphan” is one of those. After being sucked into a time portal, Molly emerges ten years older, and entirely feral. We could go on explaining, but we’ll get right to the point: who cares? This is one of those pointless, throwaway episodes that do nothing for anyone and have no real consequences. “Remember when Molly became a feral teen?” asked no one ever.
17 Vic Fontaine's Oversaturation (Multiple)
In truth, Deep Space Nine didn’t intentionally try to make fans forget about the character of Vic Fontaine. If anything, Deep Space Nine tried to get him over with you as many times as possible, retroactively causing a distaste for the holographic-singer, and inadvertently causing fans to want to forget about him.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with this '60s Vegas performer, but there can be too much of a good thing (or even too much of an “okay” thing.) The obsession that the show developed with attempting to endear viewers Vic ended up being so off-putting that fans would much rather forget he had more than one or two quick appearances, and it isn’t easy.
16 Ezri Dax's Sloppy Insertion Into The Series (S7)
Ezri Dax gets the short end of the stick, and it’s not really her fault. Instead, the fault lies solely with the creative team. Jadzia Dax was an awesome and interesting character who only became more likable as the series progressed, especially when paired with Worf (which was both charming and hilarious.)
When Jadzia was eliminated, they should have let the character go out with dignity and grace, creating an emotional impact. However, instead, they had to bring in Ezri. Nowadays, when you hear anyone talk about “Dax” being their favorite character, you know almost for certain that they’re speaking of Jadzia and not Ezri, and you’d likely have the backing of most of the writing staff, too.
15 Quark Hating On His Moogie ("Ferengi Love Songs" S5, E20)
Quark is one of our favorite Star Trek characters. His constant arguments with Odo are a series’ highlight, along with his character arc that proves he’s not as selfish as he appears. He’s rude, cheap, and cranky, but he’s also hilarious and extremely likable… except in “Ferengi Love Songs”, in which he’s anything but “hilarious” or “likable.”
When Quark’s mother enters into a relationship with the Grand Nagus himself, Ferengi society, and even their economy, are thrown for a loop. There’s nothing offensively evil about the plot, though -- instead, it’s how Quark treats his dear old mom. He’s incredibly crass and mean spirited towards her, and it’s hard to root for a guy who doesn’t treat his mom right.
14 The Overuse Of The Mirror Universe ("Resurrection" S6, E8 )
There’s seemingly no escaping the Mirror Universe in Star Trek. Debuting in The Original Series, and popping up repeatedly throughout just about every following series (even featuring heavily into Discovery), the Mirror Universe is an interesting and cool concept, but one that’s a little overdone, especially in Deep Space Nine.
While a few of the episodes that feature the Mirror Universe are certainly high-quality, one more or less sours the bunch: “Resurrection”. Not only does it bring back the boring Bareil, but it also has him steal an Orb from Kira by seducing her. Overall, this was an awful way to sully the memory of Bareil, and devalues the normally far more intelligent Kira. It’s all better left forgotten.
13 The Entire Premise Of "Move Along Home" (S1, E10)
“Move Along Home” is mildly divisive among fans, with some claiming it’s one of the worst episodes, while others seeing it as fairly harmless. No matter what side of the spectrum you stand on, we think both sides can agree that, overall, it’s an outlandish episode of little consequence, featuring a race that is mind-boggling inconceivable, even for Star Trek standards.
Basically, the DS9 gang gets sucked into a giant board game by aliens who are utterly obsessed with games of chance... and that’s it -- that’s their one defining trait. In the end, the board game turns out to be harmless, and everyone gets cranky with the aliens, and they themselves move along home. It's obvious that this episode’s events will never be mentioned ever again.
12 Turning The Bajorans Into Jerks ("The Storyteller" S1, E14)
How do you take a race that you’ve built up with an expansive culture and interesting lore, and then try to shatter everything you’ve worked towards in terms of storytelling? Why, with the episode “The Storyteller”, of course.
After spending so much time getting to know the Bajorans as a people, along with their plight, endearing them to fans everywhere, “The Storyteller” almost totally poisons the pot, nearly ruining the collective image of the Bajoran people by portraying them as savages. Oh, and it also has one of the most absurd and idiotic narrative devices in the entire franchise: a magic cloud that wipes you out unless everyone thinks happy thoughts about one another. As hard as it was to do, consider this one forgotten, and rightfully so.
11 The Lamest Rival ("Rivals" S2, E11)
Throughout Deep Space Nine’s excellent run, Quark found himself at odds with more than a few characters, with some even becoming full-time rivals. Who could forget the bickering with Kira, or Rom, his own brother. Of course there’s the obvious frenemies relationship with Odo and we mustn’t forget that scoundrel, Brunt, and the multiple times he and Quark butted heads.
As we said, there are plenty of great rivalries that Quark has dealt with, but no one will ever list the so-called “rivalry” between Quark and Martus because… well, if we’re being frank, it was boring and entirely forgettable. Despite the title of Martus’ episode being boldly called “Rivals”, you’d be hard-pressed to even remember the pathetic “rivalry” between the two characters.
10 Making The Bajorans Jerks... Again ("Sanctuary" S2, E10)
We already mentioned that “The Storyteller” does a huge disservice to the Bajorans, and just a single season later, and a similar conundrum strikes again with “Sanctuary”, but this time it’s only a small part of the overall problem.
In fact, this is one of the times that Star Trek and its often well-done tackling of issues takes center stage, rather than making a compelling episode. A race called the Skrreeans seek Bajor as their apparent homeworld, but they’re refused sanctuary by the Bajorans. The Bajorans seems like terrible people, but the Skrreeans makes less sense, since they refuse an even better planet offered by Sisko. In the end, the episode is more concerned with its message than actually telling a story that makes sense, so it’s best left forgotten.
9 Unoriginal, Hypocritical Preaching ("Paradise" S2, E15)
This heavy-handed episode deals with the totally unique, never-before-heard message that too much technology is bad for the human race, and it makes us stupid and out of shape. It also deals with the idea of cult leadership and how easily swayed people are (which is certainly a critical issue of the modern era), but almost nothing about this episode works when it is considered as part of the series as a whole.
For Pete’s sake, we know that the overabundance of technology in the Federation has made life a utopia for humanity, so the message doesn’t even mesh with the empirical proof of Trek’s universe.
8 Time-Traveling Ferengi Caused Roswell ("Little Green Men" S4, E8)
Star Trek and time-travel go hand-in-hand, and Deep Space Nine’s “Little Green Men” is another story about going to the past, but with a much more humorous tone, rather than the typical “we’re destroying the timeline” apocalypse. We’ll also be fully upfront in admitting that “Little Green Men” is a great little episode, and a total joy to watch. Despite this, though, it’s best to keep this episode as separate rather than treat its plot as a canon.
Basically, Quark and his family end up on Earth in the '40s, and are the subjects of the infamous “Roswell crash.” Of course, hilarity ensues, but the implications of it being the basis of the actual Roswell incident in Star Trek’s universe are just too wacky to consider.
7 Odo's Cringeworthy Marriage ("The Muse" S4, E21)
Odo was a fantastic character in the world of Deep Space Nine. A mysterious “changeling” seeking any information about his long-lost race, he fulfilled the role of the no-nonsense constable aboard the station. While he’s best remembered for his relationship with Quark, he was also able to find love with Kira, whom he had long harbored feelings for.
With such a lovely plotline and resolution for the character, let’s just do our best to forget about the incredibly weird “relationship” and marriage Odo was part of with Deanna Troi’s mother, Lwaxana in “The Muse”. Obviously this never really goes anywhere, but every episode featuring Lwaxana felt forced, so it’s probably for the best to forget about this dalliance altogether.
6 "A Very Special Episode" Done Horribly Wrong ("Melora" S2, E6)
Deep Space Nine features one of the best episodes of the franchise to deal with a serious societal issues, specifically racism, in “Far Beyond the Stars”. There is also a collection of other high-quality “issue” episodes such as “The Siege of AR-558”, and the entire plotline regarding PTSD that follows it. However, sometimes the ball is dropped, and sloppily so. This brings us to “Melora”.
Maybe not specifically intended to a “very special episode,” the odor of an attempt is still mightily pungent. A woman is bound to a wheelchair due to being from a low-gravity planet, and Bashir takes an interest in her and wishes to “fix” her. Overall, it’s just an embarrassing episode with an elementary school-styled lesson at the end, and we should just forget all about it.
5 Jake's Writing Career Being Started By A Space Vampire ("The Muse" S4, E21)
When we ranted about the pointlessness and embarrassing nature of Odo and Lwaxana’s marriage, we failed to mention that that particular incident wasn’t the worst part of “The Muse”. No, there’s a far worse element of that particular episode, and we’re dedicating this entire entry to it.
Jake’s aspirations to become a great writer are a major part of the episode, but the writers unfortunately mar this by introducing what is basically a vampiric muse. Not only is this an overused trope, but it’s because of this that he was able to write “Anslem,” which ruins his value and talent as a novelist. Since this episode sinks Jake as a character, we’re glad DS9 avoids chatting too much about it.
4 Worf Becomes A Puritan ("Let He Who Is Without Sin..." S5, E7)
One of the more bizarre Star Trek episodes, “Let He Who Is Without Sin…”, commits a few sins of its own. For starters, the franchise has inexplicably started to shame the use of the “pleasure planet,” Risa, with the main plot being about a group that wants the place shut down. However, the real crime is what this episode does to Worf: it inexplicably makes him into a puritan.
This trait had never really been alluded to before (and it sure as heck isn’t alluded to afterwards), so it just ends up as being bizarre, bewildering and down right stupid. It’s clear that DS9 recognized the episode’s damaging qualities and myriad of idiocies, so it has, thankfully, been forgotten by many.
3 Sisko And Dukat's DBZ Battle ("What You Leave Behind" S7, E26)
Deep Space Nine was unusual in many ways when compared to its Star Trek brethren. The darker tone is a major difference, as is its serialized storytelling, but its focus on religion and spirituality is also a huge departure its peers, as the subject is rarely discussed or expanded upon.
Throughout DS9, there is a race of “gods” (or at least powerful aliens) that the Bajorans worship, but there are also “devils,” called the Pah-Wraiths, that oppose them. In the end, it’s revealed that Sisko was created by the Prophets, and he is forced to do battle with the Pah-Wraith-possessed Dukat. The two face-off in what could best be described as a Dragon Ball Z-styled showdown. It’s weird, it’s out of place, and its overt supernatural elements have never really been seen in Trek again.
2 Bashir's Many Insane Plotlines (Multiple)
Julian Bashir is a great character. Starting off as a smug guy you who you can’t help but like, we get to know a great deal about him, especially through his fantastic bromances with Garak and Miles O’Brien. Unfortunately, we get to know a little too much about him, and he is the subject of increasingly esoteric plotlines that make you question how one man could be the crux of so many insane stories.
First, Julian Bashir is revealed as a genetically modified human, which is okay, we guess. However, after that suddenly he might be a spy for the Dominion (what!?). Also, he’s James Bond and he almost joined Section 31. Even Alexander Siddig, Bashir’s actor, thought these plots were absurd, and did everything he could to fight against the idea of turning his character into Data.
1 O'Brien's Never-Ending Torture
It was awesome for O’Brien to leave the decks of the Enterprise and be given a much greater focus in Deep Space Nine, and the character was quickly becoming more of a favorite than ever before. The writers knew how much fans loved this very normal guy, so they did everything they could to torture O’Brien, with episode after episode of putting the poor fellow through the most horrifying circumstances. They just hoped you wouldn’t notice the pattern.
O’Brien has, by far, the most amount of episodes dedicated to ruining his life, but you never seem to notice because the writers space it out just enough that you’ll forget what just happened to the guy. So they really do want you to forget about what happens to him… so they can do it all over again.
Are there any other storylines that Star Trek: Deep Space Nine wants us to forget? Let us know in the comments!